Son was Shining

Talk about hot!  It was brutal today outside.  Thankfully, my office was nice and cool, my car was cool, and my house is cool.  Praise the Lord for AC!  I had a conference today on the results of aptitude testing I had done two weeks ago.  It was really interesting, very insightful.  It seems I have great aptitude to be a lawyer!  Its kinda funny--when I was a kid I wanted to be a lawyer.   I'd also make a great detective or research analyst.  It seems I score very high in problem solving and have the ability to perform inductive and deductive problem solving.  As I think about these results, I am extremely amazed.  I was listening to a podcast on the way over about the complexity of DNA.  If DNA is complex, how much more so are we? I scored high in many other areas, like art, music, etc. and seemed suited for some really career choices.  I am amazed at how God wires us!  On another note, after my conference I chatted with the advisor, and ended up staying an extra 45 minutes talking about God, Hebrew Roots, shared several resources with this lovely Christian woman.  The Son was shining today!  ;>)

BUSY

It really is hard to keep on track.  As I ponder my day, and lament over all that I did not get done, I am forced to evaluate how I use my time and how I prioritize.  Don't get me wrong....I'm pretty good at time management.  I tend to get a pretty good bang for my buck outta the time I have.  Still, there is always room for improvement.  I imagine God feels kind of like I do when I take my son to Wal Mart or Target...I have something I need to get, but my son gets sidetracked by all the things he sees, he wants, and HAS to have, touch or play with. Look at this book, isn't this toy cool?  Wow!  I really like this bubble bath.  Wait a second, I want to see what kind of cookies these are.  I get home, cook dinner, clean up after dinner.  Sit down with my computer to make a quick purchase.  But what happened on Facebook today?  hmmm....are those earrings on sale?  Let me just send a quick email.....etc.  BUSY--Burdened under Satan's yoke.  Chuck Missler once made a comment about the eyes being the window to Satan, the ears the window to God.  We see the world and want things.  We need to listen and obey.  As I finish this, its no more facebook tonight.  Its time to pray!

Looking to my future

So, today I informed my management that by 1 May I would like to be in a new position on 32 hours.  I gave them my "wish list" and let them know I would be aiming to meet that.  It seems they are excited that I gave them a heads up, and want to see what opportunities are a fit for me.  Honestly, I think I'm burning out where I'm at.  Years of recommended good changes are lost on an inept government.  I think we all see that on a daily basis, but I get to live it.  So, I'm praying.  I told God I don't want to be living for my weekend.  I want to live each day, whether I'm in my office or home, out or about.  It will be interesting to see where he takes me. 

So caught up...

Its amazing how easily I get caught up in the day to day things of life....Kid not listening, clothes to put away, not sleeping well, hurry to work, hurry--well, crawl with the traffic--home.  So and so annoyed me, I said something I shouldn't have, I feel bad, I feel good.  I hope most people can relate and I'm not alone in this mode of getting caught up.  So what's the solution?  I think about Paul.  A man with a mission.  He travelled for the purpose of preaching the gospel.  But he was also a tent maker.  Did he fret because he had three orders of tents due by Friday?  Did he get frustrated with a customer who said his stitches weren't small enough?  Did he yell when a camel cut him off in the road?  I don't know, and of course, the scripture doesn't say.  I'm sure he had his days to, after all, he was a man.  How did he deal with it?  I admit, sometimes it is hard for me to keep my eye on the prize, to run the race to win.  I get tired and frustrated.  Yet, still, I trust that with each passing day, it is precious if I learn of and yearn for the things of God more.  If I understand a nuance I hadn't before, or if I see an inkling of him at work.  Today, my heart broke for someone diagnosed with illness, for a co-worker's autistic son, at the blatant disregard for God by so many, and at my own pride and sin.  Today my heart rejoiced to hear my son speak of angel's and hearing God's voice, to listen to life in a way only a child can explain, to see a meal cooked by my mom and the comfort of my husband knowing regardless, he loves me anyways.  An inkling....I long for more, but I suppose Rome wasn't built in a day?

In spite of bureacracy...

Since Snowmageddon, I have been struggling to get things back on track.  I had a full 10 days of loafing.  One would think that would be enjoyable, and it was for a while.  But soon, I wanted to get back to some sort of routine.  God wired us to be productive.  What that means for me may be different for others.  But I know God wired my to work and produce results.  So imagine my frustration as I sit in my office day in and day out working to get things done, only to take a step backward instead of forward!  The government bureaucracy and inability to accomplish the simplest of tasks is astounding, and it has progressively worsened over the last 5 yrs.  I have been praying on this a lot lately.  I guess I was hoping for the sea of bureaucracy to part and allow things to pass thru to fruition.  Instead, it has been more of the same.  Still, today, for the first time in a while, instead of questioning why I was there, I found myself just content to do the best I can do.  I like to think of Daniel, and Joseph.  How did they manage their frustration?  Daniel had to serve a pagan king, while Joseph was enslaved to pagans.  I'm sure both gave counsel that was ignored at one point or another.  I'm sure in that situation, it definitely felt like backwards progress.  But they remained faithful.  And that is what I pray for.

Everything I Need

I've been meaning to write on this blog. In fact, I've written several things, but nothing I've written has been sufficient for me. But I want to at least make the habit of writing. So, until otherwise done, I'll post Bible verses and songs with a (possible) explanation at the end. Here's my first one...

When every step is so hard to take - all of my hope is fading away - when life is a mountain that I can not climb You carry me, Jesus carry me. You are strength in my weakness - the refuge I seek. You are everything in my time of need. You are everything I need. When every moment is more than I can take and all of my strength is slipping away; When every breath gets harder to breathe, You carry me, Jesus carry me. You Are strength in my weakness, You are the refuge I seek, You are everything in my time of need, You are everything I need. I need You - You are everything I need; I love everything about You, cause You are strength in my weakness; the refuge I seek. You are everything in my time of need. You are everything, You are everything I need!
hag 1:5-9 And then a little later, GOD-of-the-Angel-Armies spoke out again: "Take a good, hard look at your life. Think it over. You have spent a lot of money, but you haven't much to show for it. You keep filling your plates, but you never get filled up. You keep drinking and drinking and drinking, but you're always thirsty. You put on layer after layer of clothes, but you can't get warm. And the people who work for you, what are they getting out of it? Not much-- a leaky, rusted-out bucket, that's what. That's why GOD-of-the-Angel-Armies said: "Take a good, hard look at your life. Think it over." Then GOD said: "Here's what I want you to do: Climb into the hills and cut some timber. Bring it down and rebuild the Temple. Do it just for me. Honor me. You've had great ambitions for yourselves, but nothing has come of it. The little you have brought to my Temple I've blown away--there was nothing to it. "And why?" (This is a Message from GOD-of-the-Angel-Armies, remember.) "Because while you've run around, caught up with taking care of your own houses, my Home is in ruins."

Often times in our lives, we come upon a moment that is too much for us to bear. A child facing a deadly disease, decisions as to what college to go to or what move we should take to advance our career, who to marry, etc. All of them summed up in the question, "What now?" In America, we constantly run after success. Usually, we find it in one form or another, but what do we have to show for it? I know those who are the most righteous people I've met who've lost children. Others did all they could to save their buddies in war, only to see them get torn in two at the most desperate hour. The Jews in the verses above had reestablished themselves in Jerusalem and made quite a name for themselves, but they just couldn't figure out that next step to success. Instead of constantly finding a solution to our problems, let's take comfort in the Lord's sanctuary. Build a moment of your time every day to worship him in his prescence. Then we'll be full, then we'll find meaning. He's everything we need. Our future rests in him. Our children rest in him. Our fight rests in him. Our loves rest in him. And the key word here is rest. If every aspect of our life, from the mundane (like our careers) to the important (our families and friends) rest in the hands of God, why can't we?

Psa 55:22 Pile your troubles on GOD's shoulders-- he'll carry your load, he'll help you out. He'll never let good people topple into ruin.

Owning Climate Change

I'm amazed at God's sense of humor.  After our climate conscious president talks about the validity of "climate change", God sends a week of snow to DC.  God is so cool like that.  I'm so glad, too.  After spending the day dealing with sneaky businessmen and their politics, the giggle is much needed.  Its also reaffirming.   God is in control.  No policy, no state of the union speech, no president's charm or attempt at wit, no bowing, no selling carbon credits--nothing--can wrest control away from my God most high.  As I ponder my day and thank the Lord for His grace over my ingratitude, I am in awe that He cares about all things...including people trying to claim control over His climate!

On an entirely different note, a lovely woman from work has been diagnosed with breast cancer, surgery tomorrow I just found out.  Prayers requested for her. 

Bring on the Reeses!

It was a Fast day today, when I skip breakfast and lunch in favor of a couple of nuts (to keep away nausea from meds) and V-8s, and focus on specific petitions and my love for God.  It was ALSO Muffin Monday, the first Monday of every month when I bring Costco muffins into the office.  By the end of the day the muffins were mostly gone except for about 2 and 1/2.  I gathered them up and put them in a bag to take home.  I sat it on my desk.  In front of me.  It smelled realllllly good.  Thankfully, I had made a cheat post-it on James 1.  "Temptation--->my lust"; short for "But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust."  James 1:14.  In the Greek interlinear, the word is desire.  Still, you get the idea.  As silly as it may sound, that "Temptation--->lust" staring at me on a flourescent green post it is just what I needed.  Isn't it silly?  I knew I was fasting, yet here I was drooling and thinking of finishing my fast early to dive into the muffins.  I had predetermined to keep my fast until I got home--but it wouldn't be that bad, would it?  The only thing keeping me from eating those muffins wasn't my will of steel, but my scribble of scripture on a post it.  So, does God view these silly little things as insignificant?  Luke 16:10 says “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much..."  Well!  Bring on the Reeses!

Praying for Las Cruces Saints

Its amazing how a conversation can be so uplifting.  I chatted with my friend I call "brother bear" (Ken) that I haven't talked to in a while.  I've know brother bear now 12 years.  Not only was he very encouraging, but he told me that things in the spiritual realm are shaking up where he lives, too!  God is definitely moving, and it is so nice to know that thousands of miles away I have a friend thinking of me and praying for me.  So tonight, I am lifting up the Las Cruces saints, that the Lord will hear their cries as they suffer loss of jobs, illnesses, tradgedies, etc.  I especially pray for brother bear's wife, mama bear (Pat) who has been battling cancer.  The both of them have been such an inspiration and font of strength and encouragement to all who know them.  I hope my prayers result in encouragement for them as well.

testing

Testing ...

Loving Like God

Throughout my day, I tried to keep my focus on God.  Its hard at work sometimes, when problems are so big they seem unsolvable.  Dealing with the drudgery I have to take some creative measures to keep my perspective...listening to sermon podcasts as background noise, prayers in the bathroom--the only place with remotely any privacy, and a glance at scripture or Oswald Chambers during the day.  Sometimes, I even prayer walk down and up 4 flights of stairs!  So I am very thankful that God gives me a reminder that he is still there, involved, and loving me.  My son decided last night that we needed to have a pajama party tonight.  Then, 10 minutes later, he sadly announced that we had to cancel because he had Tae Kwon Do, and there wouldn't be enough time.  6 years old, and he's feeling the weight of drudgery!  Well, I ate dinner while he was gone, knowing that he had eaten earlier before he left.  By the time he got home, I had picked out a short DVD, made dessert, and was showered and in my jammies.  PAJAMA PARTY!  We hopped in my bed and giggled as we watched Curious George and ate dessert.  He was pretty pleased with our pajama party, and I was very blessed just to have the time with him.  Unlike God, I can't be with him in his "drudgery" all the time.  But I can be like God and give my son reminders that I'm still here, involved, and loving him.

I'm No Daniel or Joseph

I often wonder how Daniel felt surrounded by ungodly people in his day-to-day work.  The same with Joseph.  Both men had day jobs, and it was in the midst of and in service to ungodly people.  How did they deal with the frutration of frivolous royalty making decisions for their whims and not for Truth?  I'm sure their bosses had their share of consultants, and that there was immense politicking between them.  We know that Daniel's peers were jealous and tried to have him killed!  Some days I wonder why God has placed me in my workplace.  Did Daniel ever wonder?  Did Joseph?  If they did, we have no evidence of it.  Both men were credited as remaining righteous.  As I ponder my day, I am grieved that I am not like Daniel or Joseph in every instance that the opportunity arises.  I find it way to easy to get beat down by the lack of real productivity and wise decisions due to personalities and politics.  So, what can I do?  I suppose I should do what Daniel and Joseph did.  Settle down, and continue to pray and seek the Lord.  Who knows?  Maybe I'll be credited in history as remaining righteous? 

Time Management

God wants our heart.  All of it.  If he wants my heart, I am assuming he also wants my time.  Everyone understands that it is hard to have a relationship if you don't put in the time to get to know each other.  Likewise, it is hard to hear, hard to learn if we don't put in the time.  For some reason, I decided that instead of killing time by doing silly things on my computer--facebook, games, poking around--that maybe I could use that "free time"  to spend with God.  Read his word, get in some studying amidst the hectic pace of my household, and remove the excuse that I don't have time.  Well, I have been doing that to some degree.  I've read some Christian fiction that really adds the human element I strain to understand.  I've studied on Joel.  I've read some Genesis, and listened to podcasts while doing tasks like bills or my nails instead of watching tv.  You know what?  I had no idea how much time I can spend learning at the feet of my Lord!  Now, I'm not saying I don't poke on facebook, or check out news sites, and sometimes kill time. I do.  I'm sure we all need our own form of down-time.  The point is that if I really do desire to know Him, then more of my time should focus on Him.  If I'm spending hours playing a game, or hours reading the news, and then wonder why I'm still a babe in Christ, or still don't understand something, know the Lord better, or whatever--the answer is right there in front of me.  Why not use my time in a God-seeking way?  I have, and have been so blessed by it!

Made in God's image

Tonight as I watch my son make another very creative picture, I am marvelling at how God put a piece of himself in us mere humans.  We are made in His image.  Today in Sunday School we learned that only God can truly "create", make something out of nothing.  But we can make some very creative things.  God created us.  As we are flawed creatures, it amazes me how His image can shine through us.  Some are shinier in other areas.  Some may shine more mercy, others may shine more authority.  What is cool is that each of us, though imperfect, reflect different aspects of the Father, and collectively gives us a glimpse of the image were modeled after.  As my son sits here working on the next Lego masterpiece, I marvel at one of God's 6 yr old masterpieces as he selects the next brick.

Early Morning Obedience

I have had a hard time getting out of bed this week.  Maybe its because I spent too many evenings reading a tad longer than I should have.  Nevertheless, I was looking forward to Friday, my day off.  After I set the alarm to get my son up for school, I prayed as I snuggled down in my bed and conversed with My Lord.  I told Him I was planning to sleep in, but if He wanted me to meet with Him in the morning, to wake me up and get me out of bed.  I drifted off to sleep amidst my prayers.....Come 3:30 am and I woke up to use the restroom.   That's actually kind of unusual for me.  I rarely get up for that reason.  And it dawned on me.  I was up and out of bed!  So I started praying.  I got back in bed, and told God that I really loved Him and missed Him, but it was a bathroom break!  If it was really Him, to please let me know by not letting me settle back to sleep.  I tossed, and turned, and I had a conversation with my Lord.  "Come on, get up.  Spend some time with me, " He told me.  After much inner conflict, I got up, went downstairs, prayed and had some lovely time studying His Word.  Did I get any major revelations?  I don't think so.  In fact, after about an hour and a half, I went back to bed. I suppose I was dissapointed, figuring if it was important enough to get me out of bed, it had to be good!  As I'm typing tonight, I realize it WAS good.  What God wants from me is my attention and obedience.  I gave Him both, not because I completely felt like it at the time, but because I love Him.

Getting the Word Out--the RIGHT Word!

I was listening to an awesome sermon by Mark Biltz this morning.  At one point he talked about El Shaddai Ministry's web site, and how it ranked among other prominent sites.  He gave God praise for doing amazing things with this little ministry, and getting the information out to such a massive audience.  As I'm reflecting over what God has done today, it seems to me that He's poking at something that's been on my heart.  Information.  At one time information traveled slowly--remember waiting until half time to catch the scores?  Now we have information inundation!  We have more information than we can feasibly process!  Even worse, the bad information is mixed in with the good information.  In these times it has been laid on my heart that there needs to be more intuitive and credible outlets for good information.  Ministries like El Shaddai, TorahClass, Precept Ministries, etc., are showing an interesting pattern.  They all are unabashed and focused on getting the TRUTH out there; as a result, I believe God is blessing their ministries.  People need credible information amidst the sea of Lies.  As time grows short, and the urgency screams, I believe that I am not just to learn and satiate my own spiritual appetite.  I feel that I am to follow this pattern--to get the Word out!  The need is so great!

Lurkers and Workers

Now that my current project was deemed a priority for the organization, I have gotten a ton of unsolicited help.  This would be fun if the help was really help.  I've been here before.  Several of my projects over the years have been very high visibility, and attract a lot of what I like to call "Lurkers, not Workers".  So many people want to be involved because it seems important.  I remember one project distinctly where 8 of us did 98% of the work.  Yet, over 100 people claimed it, got awards and recognition for it, and raises as a result of it. Many want to get in on a cart that's moving...few want to push to get it started.  I was listening again to a teaching on Nimrod.  I imagine he was a proud man.  I imagine he worked really hard at one point to establish his reputation, probably because he didn't have anything else.  He became known as a "mighty hunter" of men.  Instead of building his own city, he most likely took over an established little town, now known as Babel.  He wanted to be important.  Other people built his tower, thinking they too could be important like God.  Pride.  I am convinced it is at the root of EVERY sin.  The attraction can be obvious, but it can also be subtle. I face that temptation often.  But at the end of the day, I have to ask...does God want Lurkers, or Workers? 

Thankful God is Bigger

Coming off of a horrid night's sleep, I was preparing for the worst.  Surprisingly, I am ending the day thankful.  I am thankful that my God is bigger than any of the insanity in the world.  I am thankful for my family who cares for me needs, and my dearest friends who listen to me, encourage me, and keep me sane!  I am thankful for the blessings God has given me.  I am thankful for teachers willing to freely teach.  I am thankful for the Lord teaching me, so I feel like its all new and exciting.  I am thankful for like-minded people at my son's school.  I am thankful for dessert--no kidding!  When I look back over the conversations I had today, my safety as I bopped about, my family's health and protection, and so many other things, I am just overwhelmed!  How GREAT is our GOD!!!!

His Provision

"Do not  worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for  your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  Matt 6:31-34.  I was reminded today of God's provision in a conversation regarding my job.  So often I scurry around, trying to manipulate circumstances, get control of what I think I need.  Its kind of like when I'm looking for something, I can't find it to save my life!  Yet when I'm not looking for it, POOF!...there it is!  Its like a gift!  God promises us this.  When I turn my focus from this world, and center it on Him, He provides better than I would have expected.  What a great God I serve!

Hide & Seek with God

After waking up late, I almost thought my day was in for it!  It WAS a frantic and busy day, but as I'm sitting here reflecting and praying about it, God showed me that hide & seek with him can sometimes be fun!  Seek and you shall find!  God, where were you today?  He was in the hug and kiss from my son this morning.  He was in my arrival to work only 1/2 hour late (considering I woke up super late!)  He was in the prompting of an ad hoc fast of breakfast for a prayer request.  He was in the compliment from two of my bosses on my work.  He was in the thank you's from co-workers and bosses.  He was in the knowledge and guidance He gave me as I worked to get some things back on track in the office.  He was in my son's joyful exclamation that the dentist said two of his teeth were little wobbly.  He was in the conversation with a dear friend who listened to my plight and made me giggle like an idiot.  He was in the dinner my mom prepared for me.  He was in the giggles from my son and the smile and playfulness from my husband, trying to make my son laugh.  He was in the request for meals for a sick neighbor of a friend.  He was in the offer of another friend to bring a dish to help serve many.  He was in my thoughts as I type this and look forward to going to bed to pray, and wake up to QT.  It may seem like He is hiding, but often it is in plain sight!  I found You!

Just a note...

Love this and when i get settled in after being gone for so long i will BLOG!!! For now I just want to say GOD IS GOOD ALL of the TIME!!!

Teaching Our Kids and Ourselves

My QT hit me upside the head like a wet sandbag.  Was I a "Deborah"--a leader, or was I a "Jael"--a mom?  Kay Arthur spoke of the role of women, our mother's heart, and how Israel ended up in this position to begin with.  The old generation died, and the new one didn't know God.  The parents didn't teach their kids!  As mom's it is our mother's heart to teach our kids.  Deborah responded to lead because of her mother's heart for Israel.  Jael, likely a stay-at-home mom,  drove a tent peg into the enemy.  My heart ached.  I don't have a choice, so can't I be both?  A leader at work, and a mom at home, teaching my son?  The day goes on and tonight I am thinking what a lousy teacher I'd be.  Its not what I did, but what I thought.  A statement from someone at work got my ire up.  After playing out several future conversations in my head, I decided to pray instead.  Praying on the way home, I realized it was my pride that was wounded.  Already feeling like a failure, I am thrilled to see selfishness in my son as he doesn't want to give up one of his 2000 stuffed animals to children in a hospital in Haiti.  Many teachable moments in our future...for both him and me. 

Longings of Home

I woke up pretty much on time, which was a blessing that I thanked the Lord for.  My first day back to normalcy--also known as drudgery some days--and I was determined to be disciplined.  After QT with Kay and a workout, comforting my son who also was feeling the weight of this return of normalcy, and packing my lunch I managed to get out of the house and off to work.  As I'm praying, which I often do on the way to work, I remembered I was fasting today! Armed with one little V-8, I thanked the Lord for reminding me of this opportunity, especially with so many urgent prayers on the table.  So, I fasted, yet my day seemed significantly insignificant.  I kept looking for God, and couldn't see what He was up to. Several times I had to stop and force myself to perspective.  I intentionally did not to ask "why am I here?" Yet, I longed for home.  I so enjoyed my break, spending time with my family, playing with my son, tending to my home, and managing to have some really great time of reflection and study, time with the Lord.  Even my bed has become a place I cherish, of quiet, comfort and warmth.  Tonight as I moped about not catching a glimpse of God at work, it hit me.  I spent the better part of my day longing for home--but am I longing for my Heavenly home? Wow!  I should feel like this about the home being prepared for me.  Am I longing for IT?  ....Yes, God is always teaching me, even with the mundane.

Blessings of Peace

It was the last day of my vacation and I must admit, though we didn't go anywhere, I thoroughly enjoyed being home.  Reflecting over the last 2 weeks, God has been really stretching my imagination, my thoughts.  I am consumed by His greatness, and constantly awed by His love and mercy.  I have been very focused on some things I'd like to be more disciplined in.  My current fear, if you will, is trying to figure out how to keep God at the forefront of my thoughts and actions when the daily little frustrations begin to eat at me like mosquitos, and the sense of helplessness and lack of control at work and in my day-to-day responsibilities overwhelm me.  It is hear that I do not just stumble, but completely wipe out flat on my butt!  I can only pray that something has changed--maybe my perspective, my hope, and even a new sense of purpose and joy --that will remind me in those times of drudgery that God is moving, that I am his child and He loves me, that I am here at this time in this place for His purposes, and that He owns everything, controls everything, and knows everything.  I'm going to be hopeful, and not wear extra padding on my rear expecting to fall again.  If I may just stumble and catch myself before jabbing that tailbone, I will feel I made some progress!

His Resources, not mine.

  It was a great Sabbath day, and I enjoyed relaxing, working on a few select projects, and chatting online with dear friends.  I am contemplating my day, and am amazed at how God is moving so forcefully.  In so many areas it seems He is building and breaking--building up faith in Him, breaking down faith in this world. 
  I have been reading the Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn.  As I've pondered the blessing and joy of giving the last two days, I have an interesting conversation with my mom this afternoon--she thanks me!  I asked, "For what?"  She replied, "For blessing me, for letting God use you as the instrument of blessing."  For the first time in a long time, there is a sense of peace, contentment and joy about her. What a blessing to me to have applied His resources to bless her!  Truly, our resources are not our own.  We may claim posession of our homes, our cars, and our things, but the reality is, they are God's--all of it.  How different would we use our possessions, our resources, our time, if we always reminded ourselves that it is GOD's! Maybe that's an experiment I should try.  Before I claim possession of anything--my money, my home, my time--I should always remind myself--this is GOD's.  How would He use it?